I should be sleeping

It's after 11pm and I have a 6am ride tomorrow. Why am I still awake?

My body is tired but my brain is alert. So much to think about. I've been sick for the past couple of weeks and have been doing minimal training. I was once told (by a runner) that the only thing harder than running is not running. I may pretend that I hate running but that sentiment fades quickly when I'm not actually able to run. The worst part is I can hear the clock ticking on every workout that I miss. As of this Sunday, I only have 5 weeks left until the 1/2 iron.

Will I be ready?

Maybe thoughts like that are what's keeping me from sleeping. From there, it's very easy to think that not sleeping will lead me to being sick longer and having to miss more workouts. I have a hard time facing obstructions of any sort. I'll sometimes take the long way to work just to avoid having anyone in front of me who may slow me down. I don't care if the overall trip takes longer, that's not the point. What matters is being free to set my own speed limit. And that, dear reader, is why it's so difficult to have an illness slowing me down.

You can't ride with a flat or you'll damage your rims. It seems that the only way to pump up these metaphorical tires is to get more rest.

And if I die without saying goodbye
I give you this:
you'll have lost a friend.

~ Bruce Cockburn